of my obsessions
Hi! I'm Erica. Welcome to my blog!

This is a 100% Glee blog. It's not spoiler free, but I tag everything!

I love Klaine. I'm a supporter of Chill and Miarren. You'll also see a lot of Chris Colfer, Darren Criss, and Grant Gustin.

Please see "About" for more blog info and fandom opinions! 

No One Can Know - Kurtbastian (NC-17)

Hmm, so many Sickness sub!Blaine fics floating around. How about Sickness sub!Sebastian? 

Pairing: Kurtbastian, dom!Kurt/sub!Sebastian

Rated: NC-17. Lots of angsty Sebastian feelings.

Word Count: 5000+. Shit I am wordy - this was supposed to be a drabble.

Notes: Not beta’d - sorry if there are mistakes. This takes places in Kurt’s first year at Dalton, but he doesn’t meet Blaine, and Sebastian is head of the Warblers.

Summary: When Sebastian comes down with his first Sickness - designating him as a Sub - he’s terrified. He always thought he’d be a Dom, and this can’t be happening. He needs to be dominated, but no one can know.


When Sebastian wakes up, it’s with a whimper. He’s covered in sweat, his body aching in a way that can only mean a fever. His throat feels tight and his eyes heavy, but he knows this isn’t the flu. Every tense muscle is filled with an urge to find a Dom and submit, to feel the pleasure of obedience. He’s suddenly desperate to please. Lagged with sleep, he gives into the instinct, untangling himself from the damp bedsheets and dropping to his knees, hoping the feeling will go away. 

It doesn’t.

His thoughts feel murky, and he shakes his head, trying to lift the fog. But everything is…confusing. Sebastian doesn’t feel in control of his body, but loose and floating, unable to coordinate his movements. His cock is hard between his legs, throbbing painfully, but he doesn’t touch it. Somehow, he knows jerking off would be painful without a Dom’s permission.

As these feelings register, panic slams into his body. His heart picks up speed, his stomach clenching as he realizes he’s kneeling - something he’s never done in his life. He scrambles off the floor, horrified and breathing hard. This is Sickness, he realizes. His first Sickness.

The first of many, his mind supplies.

No. He can’t be a sub. It’s not possible, not plausible. His arrogance, sarcasm and independence fit a Dom personality. He’s head of the Warblers, commanding an entire team. Hell, he even lives in the Dominant Dorm, the Dalton staff agreeing with his parents that Sebastian living in the Undesignated Hall was unnecessary. There’s so few subs at boarding school, anyway - barely a quarter of the school’s population. They have trouble being alone. Sebastian doesn’t have that problem.

Beads of sweat roll down his face.

This can’t be happening. It isn’t real.

No one can know.

He needs to solve the problem, and quickly. A plan forming in his mind, he races to the dorm showers, cleaning the sweat off his aching body. It’s still early, and he has the place to himself. He shivers when he hears other students - other Doms - waking up for the morning. Any one of them would help him, would calm him down and take him to the Dalton Dom Committee to be dominated by a professional, but no - they can’t know. If word gets back to his parents…

Sebastian refuses his body’s begging, finishing his shower and pushing himself into his room. Clothing feels wrong on his skin, and he winces as he tucks his hard cock away. Shoes feel even worse. As he tightens the tie around his neck, his body reels at him in anger. You can’t collar yourself, it seems. He almost laughs at the ridiculousness of it all.

He still has a key to the Undesignated Dorms - since, technically, he has no official status (until now, his mind supplies) - and uses it, slipping quietly into the hallway. The Hall is mostly freshman, and everyone appears to still be asleep. Sebastian hesitantly passes closed doors, wondering what to do. If he’s caught here, it’ll look suspicious, but he can’t ask for help, either. He’s just about to admit defeat, head back to his dorm and form a new plan, when he hears a shower running, a singing voice echoing off the tiles.

Anderson. Sebastian beelines for his empty dorm.

Everyone knows Blaine is a sub, but until his Sickness arrives, he remains in the Undesignated Hall. Why he doesn’t move to the Sub Dorms is anyone’s guess - it doesn’t take Sebastian long to find the Sub Meds, stashed in a first aid kit next to Blaine’s bed. Despite feeling ill, he smirks. Blaine is Boy Scout prepared.

Sebastian pops one into his mouth immediately, relaxing even before the medication takes effect. The Sub Meds lessen the severity of Sickness, giving subs a few coherent hours to find their way to a Dom Committee. It doesn’t stop the Sickness, but Sebastian only needs to get through classes; he just needs long enough so he can leave campus and find a public Committee a few towns away, be humiliated by a stranger instead of a Dalton staff member. Something he’ll have to do for the rest of his life, since no one can know. His jaw clenches. He doesn’t want this. This can’t be his life. I’ll deal with it today, he thinks to himself. I’ll give in for one day, and then this will never happen again. He’ll find a way to become a Dom, somehow. He has to.

He steals a few more pills before leaving Blaine’s dorm and walking back to Dom Hall. The Doms are finally awake, wandering the halls and getting ready for class. Sebastian’s knees almost buckle when Wes pats his back, wishing him a good morning. It was so close to his neck; a few more inches and the action would have felt possessive, controlling. Pain flashes through his bones, his body begging him to tell, to submit. No. He barrels his way to his dorm, practically tearing down the hallway. 

As he turns the corner, he crashes into Kurt Hummel. Even as he rolls his eyes at Kurt’s outraged expression, his body trembles at the contact. Kurt’s hand is still on his chest, steadying himself, and Sebastian smacks it away angrily. The trembling calms down to a simmer.

"Watch it," he snarls. 

Kurt raises a eyebrow. “Why don’t you? I was just -“

He stops when he sees Sebastian’s face. When their eyes meet, the urge to drop his gaze is overwhelming, and Sebastian barely lasts a second before flicking his eyes away - to the side, not down. Not complete submission. But the second is enough: he sees Kurt’s concerned expression as he takes in the sweaty gleam of Sebastian’s skin and the slight tremble of his frame. He knows. Another bout of panic whirls up in Sebastian, and he shoves past Kurt.

"Sebastian, wait".

The command sweeps through him, forcing him to stop. Yesterday, this wouldn’t have happened. A command would have meant nothing, just words in a conversation. The weight of the situation makes him clench his teeth - the realization that this is his life, now. He pushes the thought away. Act normal.

He turns to face Kurt, smirking. He hopes Kurt doesn’t notice that Sebastian won’t - can’t - meet his eyes.

"If you finally need help getting that stick out of your ass, sweetheart…"

Kurt’s jaw twitches, but Sebastian doesn’t even feel happy about it. The urge to apologize climbs in his throat, but he pushes it away. He still has control. For how long is uncertain.

Kurt raises his chin, defensive. ”I can’t believe I’m asking this, because you obviously would never do the same, but are you okay?”

Sebastian forces a laugh, his heart pounding. “Just another long, sleepless night with a Scandals sub”. 

Kurt rolls his eyes and walks away without a word, but Sebastian can see the disgust on his face. It hurts more than it should.

He spends the time before class kneeling on his dorm floor, panting, trying to convince himself the growing urge is just a phase. In his heart, he knows it’s not.


The Meds aren’t working.

It was stupid to assume they would - a sub’s first Sickness is the most powerful - but Sebastian had to give them a chance. 

The morning was almost manageable, to his surprise. Sebastian went to his classes and appeared normal. No one noticed the constant trembling, the way he kept pulling at his shirt collar, or his inability to focus on the lectures. The meds helped a little; subconscious commands from his friends didn’t seem to affect him. Only the thought of Kurt sends his body into a frenzy, but he ignores it - it’s only panic over what Kurt knows, nothing more.

Conversation is easier than he thought it would be: the sub urges don’t seem to override his personality, and Sebastian is pleased to note he still has his sarcastic bite, and can still make friends laugh at his crude jokes. When he teases a sub, the teacher tells him not to abuse his power. For the first time all day, he feels hope. Maybe this can work, he thinks to himself. Maybe he can do this.

But as lunch passes, everything becomes so much worse. His body is exhausted, the aching more painful and the trembling more intense. He can barely keep his eyes open, and every passing Dom is suddenly an opportunity to drop to his knees. Wild fantasies begin to take over his mind, forcing him into daydreams at random times, and he can almost feel the strain of cuffs against his wrists, the ache of his jaw from obediently sucking off a Dom. His cock, still hard, throbs painfully in its confinement, but when he shuts himself in a bathroom stall, he can’t bring himself to touch.

When last period arrives - World History - Sebastian waits until the very last second before slipping into class. As usual, the only available seat is near Kurt, who gives him a curious glance as he sits down. Sebastian ignores him, but is curious himself. Why does he want to sit next to Kurt? Kurt may be a Dom, Sebastian thinks, but barely. He doesn’t look like a traditional Dom, or sound like one. Maybe he’s the safest to sit beside. For a Dom, Kurt is weak.

If only his body would get the message.

As class begins, every part of him feels magnetically drawn to Kurt, his body screaming at him to submit. All day, Kurt was the only one to notice, the only one to care. He can help. Sebastian turns to look at Kurt, studying the confident tilt of his chin, even as he takes notes. Kindness is an excellent trait for a Dom, he mind supplies. Suddenly, an image flashes through his mind, Kurt buckling a collar around his neck. Sebastian shakes his head at the thought. This is crazy

But the images don’t stop. Every second, another one fills his head: Kurt stroking his hair as he’s on his knees, smiling down at him. Kurt whispering in his ear as hands squeeze and stroke, laughing softly at Sebastian’s pleas. Kurt grinding against him at Scandals, possessively grabbing his body and pulling him closer. The salty, bitter taste of Kurt, a hand on his neck urging him on. Every fantasy winds Sebastian up more, every thought making him lean a little closer to Kurt, hoping for some relief. His cock hurts, and he wants Kurt to help him.

When he realizes what he’s doing, he jerks away, his chair scraping against the floor. The teacher gives him a pointed look. Crap.

Heart racing, Sebastian frantically digs in his pocket for the last Sub pill, swallowing it quickly. He knows it won’t work; they stopped helping after the first dose, as they should. But he just needs to get through this class. He’s losing control, quickly. He tries to take a steadying breath, clenching his hands into fists as a wave of nausea rolls through him.

He isn’t going to make it.

The soft ripping of paper gets his attention, and from the corner of his eye he watches as Kurt scribbles something down, folding up the paper and placing it gently on Sebastian’s desk.

With trembling hands, he opens the note.

The pills won’t help. You need to see a Committee member immediately.

Sebastian snorts out a laugh, even as his stomach drops. No shit, he thinks. He crumples up the note and throws it back, but the fact a Dom knows, and is offering advice without judgement, causes his body to go haywire. The paper misses Kurt’s desk, despite Sebastian being only a foot away.

Kurt raises an eyebrow, as if to say “See, I told you”. Sebastian ignores him.

A few minutes later, another note lands on his desk.

Stop clenching your hands. You’re hurting yourself even more.

The command, even written, is like a breath of fresh air. Sebastian stretches out his fingers, wincing as he notices the crescent-shaped marks on his palm, filled with blood. 

Another note, this one not even folded. Good boy.

Sebastian wants to hate it, wants to throw the note in Kurt’s face with a sneer, but instead the praise causes warmth to flood his body, the pain lessening. He breathes hard, staring at the note, repeating it in his mind. Another one lands on top of it.

I can help, Sebastian. I won’t tell anyone.

He wants to say yes. He’s so tired, his body and mind pleading with him to stop fighting it, to just let go. But he can’t submit to Kurt. He can’t.

He flips the paper over and writes a reply with a shaky hand. 

Thanks for the offer, but you don’t meet my standards, Princess.

He watches Kurt read the note, hurt flickering across his face only for a second before he smooths his expression. He scribbles a reply.

Like I’d ever dominate you. I’m offering to drive you to a public Dom Center, since you seem to be avoiding Dalton’s.

Now it’s Sebastian’s turn to feel hurt. Why won’t Kurt dominate him? Would he be that bad of a sub? Again, he pushes the thoughts away. It’s the Sickness thinking, not him. He writes back.

Why? We’re not friends.

It takes almost the entire class for Kurt to reply. Sebastian is sweating buckets and breathing erratically  - and people are finally starting to notice - when a scrap of paper finally lands on his desk.

I could feel your Sickness the moment I woke up. Dom nature, I guess. You don’t have to do this alone.

Sebastian knows that isn’t possible - Doms can only feel the Sickness of a sub they’ve been bonded to for years - but he looks at Kurt and nods, accepting the offer. Instantly his mind settles. He crumples the notes and stuffs them in his pocket, hiding the evidence. But something - his Sickness, he guesses - makes him fold up the Good boy and put it in his breast pocket. It could be useful, some day like today. He might need it when he’s alone, acting as a Dom but always a sub. The thought terrifies him.


By the time class is over, Sebastian is almost whimpering in pain, his jaw aching from being clenched so hard. When he stands up he stumbles, his vision blurring and his feet unsteady. Kurt reaches out to grab his arm, and the contact is soothing despite the hard grip.

Trent, sitting in front of them, frowns at Sebastian. His eyes flick down to Kurt’s steadying grip.

"All the Warblers are going to the Lima Bean for drinks, Seb. You in?"

Before he can reply, Kurt jumps in.

"No, he can’t. We have a class project due, and I’ve been trying to corner Sebastian all week."

His voice oozes control, and Sebastian shivers at the way Kurt says his name, the thought of being cornered by Kurt with nowhere to run. Trent gives Sebastian a sympathetic look - interpreting the shiver as a shudder, Sebastian guesses - before gathering his books and leaving the classroom.

Kurt guides Sebastian out of the room.

"Just follow me, okay?" he whispers.

Like Sebastian has a choice. He closes his eyes and lets the command take control of his body.

By the time he realizes that Kurt is bringing him back to his dorm, they’re already in the hallway. The Hall is unusually empty, to Sebastian’s relief: Kurt is practically carrying him, an arm around his waist.

"No," he murmurs. "No, the car…"

"You won’t make it. I have to call the Dalton Committee".

"No," he protests again. "No, they can’t know."

Kurt deposits him on the bed, stopping him as Sebastian tries feebly to take his phone away. 

"You need to be dominated," Kurt says, and Sebastian wants to smack the sympathetic expression off his face. "I know you don’t want to, but any longer and I’ll have to call an ambulance".

Sebastian shakes his head and then gasps at the horrible pressure. Kurt can’t phone the hospital. He can’t phone the Dalton Committee. His parents can’t know.

"Dominate me," he says frantically, tugging on Kurt’s blazer.

Kurt smiles gently. “I can’t accept that as consent, Sebastian. Especially since you already declined”.

"What, subs can’t change their mind? I need to be dominated, you’re the only one who knows I’m Sick, and…my parents can’t know."

Kurt hesitates, and Sebastian seizes the opportunity. 

"Please. Yesterday I was a Dom, and today I’m a sub. I don’t know…I don’t know what to do," he forces out. "I don’t know how this works, and a stranger won’t get that. You offered to help me, so help me."

There’s a pause, Kurt’s blue-green eyes searching his. Sebastian forces himself to stare back, unrelenting. The stare is calculating; Kurt’s interested in something, but Sebastian can only guess what.

Finally, Kurt sighs. “If we’re going to do this, I need some background information. And I want complete honesty”.

The command makes his body feel better, but his mind much worse. Everything still aches, and he doesn’t want to do this right now. “Fine. Just make it snappy”.

"Did you know you were a sub?" Kurt asks bluntly.

Sebastian laughs bitterly. “No.”

"Not even an urge? A submissive dream when you were a kid?"

Sebastian grinds his teeth, but the command weighs heavily in his mind.

"Everyone has dreams," he says finally. "But dreams aren’t real."

He watches Kurt take this in, irritated by the small nod of understanding. 

"One more question".

Everything throbs. “Are we seriously going to have a fucking heart-to-heart right now? Because -“

"Why can’t you tell your parents? A sub’s first Sickness is important. They should-"




Kurt’s stance is uncompromising as he stares Sebastian down. Sebastian quivers at the dominance Kurt has, palpable in the air. The anticipation is building - sweat rolling down Sebastian’s face - and Sebastian just wants to get this over with. He sighs, forcing out a breath.

"They - my parents - are both Doms. A contract-only marriage" he adds at Kurt’s surprised face. "They don’t think subs are…". He pauses, searching for the words, knowing he’ll offend no matter what he says.

"Worth marrying?" Kurt’s voice is cold, and Sebastian wants to flinch.

"Worth anything". 

He lowers his head, wanting to avoid Kurt’s gaze. Immediately he wants to hit himself. All he’s doing is proving subs are weak, supporting what he’s already said.

A hand rests gently in his hair. “I won’t treat you like that, Sebastian. Doms and subs are equal”.

Sebastian sighs. He’s so tired. “As everyone says. Can we just start, please? I want to do this and forget”.

A pause. Then-


"Red". He knows that much, at least.

The hand in his hair forces his head up, and Kurt searches Sebastian’s face. Sebastian expects Kurt to order him to his knees - standard for a sub’s first Sickness - and the thought makes him wince. He’s too dizzy and too tired.

"Kurt, I don’t know if I can…everything is too sore…"

"Shhh," Kurt whispers, stroking the sweaty hair off Sebastian’s face. "Don’t think, okay? Just listen. I’m going to make this better. I’m…I’m going to make it good for you".

Trailing his hand down, Kurt removes Sebastian’s tie, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Instantly, Sebastian can breathe. When he takes a deep breath, Kurt smiles at him. The urge to smile back is overwhelming.

Kurt’s going to make it better, somehow. He knows it.

"Now get undressed and lay on the bed".


The order clears Sebastian’s head. All he has to do is focus on the task, follow Kurt’s orders, and the Sickness will ease. He does what he’s asked without hesitation: he’s never been ashamed of his body. But his mind is rebelling against the submission, angry at his cock for throbbing against his stomach. Carefully, he lays on the cool sheets.

Kurt removes his blazer, shoes and tie, but keeps the rest of his clothing on. Sebastian stares at the wall, unknowing where else to look.

"Close your eyes, Sebastian".

He does what he’s told. He feels the bed dip, a cool hand stroking down his feverish body.

"You need to let go and submit. Take a deep breath".

He listens as Kurt breathes deeply and mimics the action, letting Kurt’s rhythm guide him. A gentle hand rubs his chest as he lets the air expand into his lungs, holding for a minute before letting go. And then again. The tension in his body lessens with every breath.

"Good boy"

Sebastian shivers, and he can hear the smile in Kurt’s voice.

"Do you like that? Being called a good boy?"

This is the final moment, Sebastian knows. The final step before he falls and lets go, acknowledging his designation, submitting to a Dom. The silence stretches, but Kurt doesn’t push, continuing to gently stroke Sebastian’s skin. Sebastian focuses on the hand, how right it feels touching Sebastian, like he’s beautiful. It’s better than any command he’s ever given.

He falls.

"Yes, sir".

Now it’s his turn to feel Kurt tremble, and Sebastian feels a strange, confusing rush of power. He smiles.

"Do you like that? When I call you sir?"

He expects Kurt to punish him for speaking out of line - like his parents would do - but instead Kurt laughs.

"Yes, I do," he says simply. 

Warm breath hits his forehead before he feels the brush of Kurt’s lips. “I want you to put your hands behind your head. Can you do that?”. 

The movement aches, his limbs sore, but Sebastian does what he’s told. The position exposes Sebastian’s neck and chest, and Kurt trails his fingers down the bare skin.

"You’re gorgeous like this," Kurt whispers. "So submissive, just handing yourself over to me. Wanting to be mine".

A whimper escapes Sebastian’s throat before he can stop it. He never thought Kurt would sound so powerful, so in control. “Please, sir”.

Kurt hums, leaning in to kiss Sebastian’s throat. The warm, soft lips feel so different than any hookup from Scandals. When the kiss turns to a bite, Sebastian gasps, revelling in the sensation as Kurt sucks the skin hard between his teeth, making his mark on Sebastian’s body. The mark of a Dom. Sebastian’s body goes lax.

"I want to touch what’s mine," Kurt whispers. "Don’t move".

Hands travel everywhere, strong and sure in their path. Sebastian loses time as Kurt explores his body, his mouth claiming his neck and chest while his hands constantly move, touching everything but his cock, its throbbing ignored. Eyes closed, Sebastian lets himself float, focused only on the combined feeling of his Dom’s hands and his growing need. Suddenly, Kurt’s breath is hot in his ear.

"You’ve been hard since this morning".

Sebastian blinks his eyes open, disoriented. Kurt smiles down at him, cheeks flushed and eyes dark with arousal. Sebastian scrambles to remember what Kurt said. ”Yes, sir. Since I woke up”.

"Do you want to touch yourself?"

Suddenly, it’s all he wants to do. All of his attention turns to his cock, the ache unbearable. He shifts uncomfortably on the bed, trying not to move his hands.

"Please, sir".

"Beg me". 

Sebastian swallows hard. The words come easy, without any thought. “Please, sir, please let me touch myself. I need to. Please”.

The begging works. Kurt’s sharp intake of breath sends a shot of pleasure through Sebastian’s body. Knowing he pleased his Dom, that he turned him on, makes him moan softly. The slick sweat on his body doesn’t feel cold anymore, but wonderful - a submissive response to Kurt’s words. He shifts against the bed, trying again.

"Please. It hurts. So much". 

Kurt laughs gently at his enthusiasm. “It will always hurt, honey. A sub’s pleasure is always mixed with pain. Go ahead and stroke yourself. Slowly”.

Sebastian removes a hand from behind his head, moaning as he finally touches his cock. Feeling Kurt’s eyes on him, he strokes gently, following the order. He’s lost in pleasure, revelling in the sensation of permission, when he feels a sharp pinch on his nipple. He gasps, trying to twist away from the pain. The pressure only grows.

"What do you say, Sebastian?"

"Thank you, sir!"

"Mm, better. Close your eyes again".

He does, and suddenly the images from earlier flood his mind - a salty, bitter taste on his tongue, guiding hands in his hair. His cock throbs in his hand and Sebastian whimpers against the feeling.

Kurt’s fast breath is hot in his ear. “What do you imagine when you touch yourself?”

"You, sir".

"Me?" Kurt voice sounds surprised, but he recovers quickly. "What do you imagine I’m doing to you?"

Sebastian thinks back to all his fantasies from the afternoon, moaning softly.

"Letting me touch you. Letting me suck you".

"You’re desperate for that, aren’t you? Desperate for me to hold your head in place and slide my cock down your throat. You want to taste it, don’t you?"

Fingers slide across Sebastian’s lips, and he gasps, opening his mouth for them. 

"Show me what you’d do, Sebastian. Show me what a good boy you are".

Sucking the fingers into his mouth, Sebastian moans at the sharp taste - finally getting to touch the Dom controlling him. He tries to be good, tries to demonstrate his talent as he licks and sucks the fingers, bobbing his head slightly with the movement. His hand on his cock moves faster at Kurt’s constant praise.

"Such a good boy. A natural submissive. You’re so good, Sebastian. You’re doing everything right".

A sharp spike of pleasure courses through him, and it takes a moment for Sebastian to realize it’s because Kurt is pressed all along his side, cock hard against his thigh - no, grinding against his thigh. He whimpers, turning to face Kurt. His mouth is busy with Kurt’s fingers but he blinks his eyes open, trying to beg anyway, pleading with Kurt if he can touch. His pleading sounds only grow when he sees Kurt staring at him so possessively.

 ”No,” Kurt laughs, his voice breathy. “Close your eyes and just feel”.

It’s agony, feeling Kurt grind relentlessly against his thigh and not being able to touch or see. He shifts slightly, pressing his thigh into Kurt and trying to help, but Kurt quickly throws a leg over, stopping him. Kurt’s movements speed up, his panting hot against Sebastian’s neck. Sebastian drifts, gently sucking at Kurt’s fingers and just lets himself be used - lets Kurt take what he wants because it feels so good, almost like Kurt’s pleasure is his own. Kurt groans and Sebastian echoes it. It’s so easy, he thinks. With Kurt telling him what to do, it’s effortless. 

"So good." Kurt gasps. "Such a good sub, giving me so much of yourself. Only following my commands all day, no one else’s. Like you’re already mine". 

The calm he was feeling is replaced by urgency, and Sebastian whines against the fingers. His. Owned. He feels a possessive hand down his side.

"Look at me".

His eyes open, meeting Kurt’s steady gaze. With the command, he can’t look away. He watches Kurt watch him, his eyes trained on Sebastian sucking at his fingers, yet he doesn’t feel ashamed. Instead he sucks harder, begging without words. Kurt smiles.


Sebastian’s mind goes blank, his body tensing. Kurt’s eyes pin him to the spot, not allowing him to look away as the pleasure takes over, his body jerking as spurts land on his chest. It hurts, like Kurt said it would; a pain he’s never felt before, but one he doesn’t want to live without. Through his haze, he watches Kurt’s mouth go slack, his body stuttering against Sebastian’s. The pleasure of knowing he did that is like nothing he’s experience before, with anonymous subs at Scandals. It’s so much better.

Kurt removes his fingers, sliding his hand through Sebastian’s hair as he whispers praise. After cleaning his chest, he carefully manoeuvres Sebastian to the floor, teaching him to kneel in the proper position, his head resting in Kurt’s lap. Fingers continue to stroke through his hair. Everything feels perfect, every part of his body attuned to Kurt. His mind feels nothing, simply waiting for the next instruction, but it’s not scary. It feels right.

"Good boy. Just relax, honey. I’m right here."

He drifts.


When Sebastian comes to, Kurt’s hands are still stroking through his hair, but the sunlight in the room is more angled, shadows on the wall. He blinks, disoriented, his knees aching. Gentle hands pull him up to the bed, a bottle of Gatorade placed in front of him.

"I found it in your mini fridge. Drink".

He does, watching Kurt rub at his knees. There’s less dominance in his features, a calm concern taking over. Sebastian smiles as Kurt’s perfectly coiffed hair flops over his forehead. It’s cute, and he doesn’t resist the urge to push it back. Kurt bats his hand away but smiles at him.

"How do you feel?" he asks softly, assessing Sebastian’s face. 

Sebastian searches himself. The aching is gone, as is the trembling. His mind is clear, for the first time all day. Submission is still swirling in his veins, but it feels muted, somehow; less desperate. He feels…good. 

The emotion must show on his face, because Kurt grins. “Remember this feeling the next time you decide to ignore a Sickness. Maybe it will stop your idiocy”.

Sebastian snorts. “Maybe there won’t be a next time”.

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he sees the double meaning. All day he’s been promising himself this Sickness will be his first and last - he’ll become a Dom, somehow - but now he has another option. This Sickness can be his last, if Kurt is willing to regularly Dom him.

It’s too much to ask, too much time and effort to take on someone who knows nothing about sub etiquette, who needs to be taught how to do something as simple as kneeling. Especially someone who never wants to come out as a sub. Sebastian smirks, trying to play it off. 

"I mean for next time, when I’ll find a official Dom instead of a -“

A hand rests on his arm. Kurt gives him an amused, knowing smile.

"Don’t do that. When I said you’re a good boy, I meant it".

“I didn’t even touch you,” Sebastian mutters. 

Kurt laughs. “That’s my decision to make, Sebastian. You were too Sick. I know this is new, but with a few classes you’ll learn these things”.

Sebastian hesitates. “I can’t join sub classes. My parents…no one can know”

Kurt nods. “We’ll figure something out. Maybe an online course”.  

We. Sebastian glows. 

He never expected to be a sub, but with Kurt as his Dom, it’s not looking too bad. No one can know - except Kurt.

  #kurtbastian    #sebastian smythe    #Kurt Hummel    #sub!sebastian    #My writing    #kurtbastian headcanons